I didn't know

When you were born, I didn't know.

I didn't know how much time I would get with you. You were the tiniest person I had ever seen. Would I get to raise you and see you grow or lose you before I ever knew you?

I didn't know how resilient God had designed our bodies. I didn't know about growth restriction; limbs shortening to preserve organs, that heartburn could make a baby hold their breath; that senses could develop years after birth.

I didn't know how hard it can be to walk. That using both sides of your body in a task is complicated. That water and wind can hurt, but brains can be trained.

I didn't know how much I had to learn about trust in the Lord, His timing and His plans that are so different from mine.

I didn't know the rewards of struggle. That character is formed in the earliest years. That suffering would develop so much compassion in your soul.

I didn't know the joy to be found in ladybugs and bubbles and worms. That discovering the beauty of creation can fill the soul with gratitude.

I didn't know how wrong specialists could be. That you would exceed every limitation ever set on you. That what you can't do would pale when compared to all that you are.

When you were born so early, so tiny, so fragile, I wanted to change it, to fix it, for both of us. I thought I wanted a different story. I didn't know.

What a profound gift I was given when you were born.

#heisenough